exploring, examining, exchanging, expressing
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Packing It In
It was one thing to pack up everything I own into my little Honda and take it down to Tennessee. It's an entirely different challenge to whittle all of that down to one checked duffel bag one one carry-on. It's turning out to be more difficult than I expected. I've taken a couple of passes at it, and I've managed to cram about 48.5 pounds of stuff into the duffel. The limit's 50. I think I'm cutting it too close. My carry-on is within weight, but it's stuffed, too. I've really got to work on this simplified, minimalist lifestyle I want to adopt.

I'm not even sure why I'm going to the trouble since I'm allowed another checked bag. I could easily do this with another duffel. I have a friend picking me up at the airport, so it's not like I'd have to lug it all very far. But I'm stubborn. I want to do this for the principle of it. I shouldn't need more. I should need all of this stuff. I don't need to drag my entire life down with me. Unfortunately, ideology and practicality clash. I'll take another stab at it in the morning and see which side wins. It's tough to decide what to give up.

Aside from the literal aspects, I've also been wrapping up my life here. I've hung out with friends, had a few last bashes, and said goodbyes. It's been a good time. I've been doing the same with my family. Thankfully, with global communication and the prevalence of the Internet, distance isn't as much of a barrier as it used to be. We know we'll keep in touch.

"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
My original plans have fallen apart, a bit. I'm not going down to start my training course. That means I'm on my own to find a job, find a place to live, and deal with a new culture. But, in making my plans, I've learned quite a lot and have made some good contacts. I'm not going into this entirely blind or unprepared. My legs are a little shaky, but I'm keeping my head up. I've got some interviews lined up. No promises, but no outright rejections yet either (though a few schools simply haven't replied). As expected, most want to deal with me once I'm actually in the country. I think they've all been burned by too many no-shows. Simply taking the step to arrive at their door should give them confidence in my commitment. Then it's up to me, my own confidence, attitude, and experience, to get the job. I remain hopeful and positive.

I try to remind myself that if things like this were easy, then everyone would do it. I'm nervous and anxious, but excited, too. It's not easy. It's not comfortable. However, I'm sure it will be worthwhile. I will be a better person for having the experience.

I need to do it.

I'm going to do it.

I leave for San Jose, bright and early, Saturday morning.